Got Religion?  Or Got Alcohol? Pt. 1

Alliance Base, Undisclosed Location, 2503
"Colonel Book."
The straight-lined, short-haired Colonel turned around from his view of the stars.  "Yes Captain?" he asked, returning the man's salute.
"The first of the new aught-three Fireflies were just completed, sir.  Lieutenant Colonel Roberts believed you would be interested in seeing the model, sir, and sent me…"
"The new Firefly you say?" Book interrupted the man before he stumbled over any more words.
"Yes sir."
"Show me the way Captain."
The Captain nodded his head and led Book out of his high-perched office with its nearly-360 view of the stars of the 'verse.  Down the two walked, through winding corridors and down silent elevator rides.  Eventually, the two walked into the hanger where the shining new Firefly model sat.  Lieutenant Colonel Roberts stood grinning alongside it; it was his model, after all.
"Colonel Book," he saluted.
Book returned the salute and began to examine the new ship.  "It's a fair bit different from the last model," he finally stated.  Colonel Neria Book was noted for his loathing of change.
"I hope that means the Colonel approves?"
"The neck is longer.  More private quarters rather than militia-based bunks?  It's not quite what the military needs.  A cruise ship."
Roberts frowned.  "Are you upset at the actual design or are you upset at the entire next line of Firefly, Colonel?"
"I stand for tradition, Roberts."
"With all due respect, Colonel, if the entire Alliance used antique carbines and piloted out-of-date Firefly models…"
"You can stop Lieutenant Colonel.  Sometimes, it's not the latest technology that wins the battles, but the skill and intensity behind the weapon, even if it's just a pointed stick."
"Of course, sir."
Book ran his hand along the engraved markings on the side of the ship that indicated that the ship was the first of its kind.  "Though I suppose a change is going to come."

Book lifted his hand from the dusty engravings on Serenity and turned to the approaching noise of the mule returning with Mal and Zoe from their latest deposit.  Laughter from within the cargo bay indicated a small game of cards between River, Kaylee, Inara, and Simon had reached a fairly entertaining twist.  Somewhere above him sat Jayne and Lizane on watch, protecting the ship and its inhabitants from the slavers of Santo.
"Welcome back," the Shepherd announced as he walked away from the ship's side toward the entrance of the cargo bay.
"Thanks for the greeting Shepherd."  Mal nodded his head at the place Book had been standing.  "Something wrong with the ship's siding?"
"Nothing really.  I was just admiring her craftsmanship."
Mal allowed a suspicious glance to pass his face for a brief moment before calling up to Jayne.  "About to leave.  You two sentries can come down!"  He drove the mule into the cargo bay, playfully interrupting the card game.
"Hey!" Kaylee shouted as the slight breeze from the mule blew a few of her cards away into Inara's stack of cards.  "Thanks Cap'n.  I could've won the game."
"No you couldn't have," River replied matter-of-factly.  It would have been startling months ago, but now the crew accepted her awkward inputs.
"There you go, Kaylee.  I just helped you out," Mal joked.  He hopped off the ATV and went to the comm. "Hey Wash, as soon as Jayne and Liz are in, head off to Luneterre."
"Luneterre!" Kaylee shouted.  "Things are pretty spiffy out there Cap'n.  We going to get a little land time, for all of us?"
Inara also offered a smile to Mal in order to help Kaylee's cause.
Mal turned away from her dark-lined eyes.  "Of course Kaylee."  He ran up the stairs.  "Why the hell do those two take so long to follow orders?"
Zoe grinned.  "Do you really want to know Captain?"
He grimaced at the thought.

"We should go before Mal takes off without us inside," Liz whispered as Jayne kissed her neck.
"You're the one who said you wanted a romantic getaway," he retorted.
"The deserts of Santo weren't quite what I had in mind."
"What did you have in mind?"
"An expensive hotel with room service where it rains all the time so we never get out of bed."
"It doesn't need to rain for that."
The hatch nearby opened and Mal stuck his head out.  "Wuh de mah…" he moaned as he saw Jayne on top of Liz.
"We weren't doing nothin' Captain…" Liz began.
"She had dust in her eye," Jayne agreed.
"Good one babe," Liz grinned.
He smiled.
"We're heading out.  Get in here… or better yet, don't…"  He sunk down into the ship and the two scrambled forward before he could lock them out.

"Alright… hold it steady… no, no… to the left," Wash yelled at Jayne as he studied a picture in an instruction manual then looked up to the security system Jayne was installing in a corner of one of the ship's corridors.
"Make up your mind…" the mercenary growled.
"Well if you were competent I wouldn't have to keep giving all these directions."
Book slowly walked past the two.  "Is this what the Captain and Zoe procured from the slavers of Santo?"
"Yeah.  Latest security system used by the Alliance on their ships, and we got it for a good deal.  Assuming lug-brain here doesn't break it."
The Shepherd held out his hands to Wash.  "Might I try?  You can assist Jayne."
Wash handed over the manual and attempted to climb the ladder near Jayne, but the growling caused him to change his method of 'helping'.
"Rotate the neck and place the mount snuggly in the corner.  Press the red button so it can attach to the ceiling…"
Jayne was greeted by the successful popping of the attached system.

"So you have a new security system?" Inara asked Mal as she polished her porcelain goods.
Mal sat on her couch, continuing to stare awkwardly.  "Yeah.  Cameras and the low quality stuff we had wasn't cutting it.  I mean, first Saffron, then that bounty hunter, now the guys from Dyton Colony.  It's ridiculous."
"I feel much safer with the new system," she affirmed.
"Are you saying that because it's true, or because it's the polite thing to say?"
She frowned.  "Mal… why would you even make that accusation?  It's a secur…"
"I don't know Inara.  Maybe it's because I never know what's really you or what's really that Companion stuff talking."
"Mal, if it's really about the security system, I do feel safer with the newest edition of it being in the ship."
He stood from the couch.  "It's not about the security system," he mumbled as he left the shuttle.
"Oh you stubborn man," she yelled at the closed door.

"Ever been to a Luneterre party?" Kaylee asked Liz as they attempted to install the system in the engine room.
"Actually, no.  I heard a lot about them from people.  No one's particularly wealthy on the moon, but they know how to have a good time.  And dance."
"Can you dance?"
She laughed.  "I'm sure we can all dance, depending on the amount of alcohol in our system."
"Ain't that the truth.  But man, I've heard about those dancing girls on Luneterre.  I would love to dance just like them."  She handed a piece of the equipment to Liz.  "At least just to get Simon's eyes on me and not them dancin' girls."
"Don't worry Kaylee.  They'll be on you.  He likes you, you know.  He just doesn't know how to act.  Most men don't."
"Well how can Jayne act like some big puppy in love around you and Simon can't?"
"Alcohol Kaylee.  Alcohol."

"Jayne and I are going to go find this man, LeBeau, that our man Harrow connected us with.  You guys stay in town.  No wondering off.  Everyone have a partner or so.  There's a party tonight, don't get drunk…"
"And get married?" Wash joked.
"I never got married," Mal reminded him.  "That was your stupid mistake."
"Not quite stupid," Wash grinned as he put his arm around the grinning Zoe.
"But a mistake?" she asked.
"Not quite a mistake either."
The group dispersed, and Kaylee tagged along with Inara.  "Hey Inara, do you know how to do that fancy dancin' they do here?"
"A bit.  Dance is a pillar of the Companion lifestyle."
"You think you could show me a move or two sometime?"
"Of course Kaylee."  Inara smiled.  "Trying to impress a certain doctor?"
"Ain't I always?"

Mal and Jayne sat across from the self-proclaimed leader of the small town on Luneterre, Philip LeBeau.  "Harrow sent word that he was sending his best men our way."
"We are."
"Man of few words, I like that about you Captain Reynolds.  I'm sure this little job of mine won't be too much for a man like you, or your crew."  He added a nod toward Jayne.
"Nothing's too much for us.  What can we haul for you?  Grain… not a big fan of livestock personally…"
"Hauling Monsieur?  I'm afraid you don't understand.  This job is a bit more, weapon-required, than that."
Mal sighed.  "Of course."

Night had set in by the time Mal and Jayne made their way back to the town centre where the traditional Luneterre party had already begun.  "So what's the plan Mal?" Jayne asked.  "We just going to barge over to their base and shoot up the place?"
"You didn't get enough of that on Beaumonde?"
"I never get enough of that."
The two glanced around at the frolicking residents of the town.  "Well we can't exactly wait for them to come to us.  These people aren't exactly the fighting kind."
"Hey Cap'n!" Kaylee shouted as she and Simon stumbled up to the two, both with bottles of some form of alcoholic beverage in hand.  "Have you seen Inara tonight Cap'n?" she continued, without giving Mal time to comment on her and the doctor's interlocked arms.  "She's beautiful.  Center of the party."
He instinctively looked past the want-to-be couple into the center of the crowd.  A large bonfire had several dancers performing exotic versions of the tango about it.  One of those dancers was Inara, and her arms were wrapped around a local.  A very tall, a very handsome, a very shirtless, local.
"You should dance with her Captain," Kaylee said before Simon kissed her cheek.  She blushed and the two disappeared in the crowd again.
"Inara ain't the only one dancin'," Jayne stated as he pointed to River dancing on the edge of the crowd, farthest from them.  She danced alone, but her moves were graceful and exotic nonetheless.
Mal glanced at the tweaked girl, but his eyes returned quickly to Inara.  "Who does she think she is dancing that way?"
"Captain, I ain't a smart man.  But I know that once a Companion, always a Companion.  If you get my drift."  He gave Mal one hard pat on the back then hurried off to find Liz.
"By the Buddha, Jayne Cobb just said the smartest thing ever."
Mal walked with deliberate steps toward the dancers.

Book and Liz sat on a wall that overlooked the spectacle below.  "I'm sure such pleasure, alcohol, and dancing isn't exactly your thing, is it Shepherd?"
He shook his head.  "Such things lead to procreation, which is not always a good thing."
She smiled.  "You are not the kind of Shepherd who hears confessions, are you?"
"Well not quite.  And usually confessions are more confidential, rather than between crew mates.  And… if it's in regards to your relationship with a certain Jayne Cobb, I'd rather not hear."
Liz laughed.  "I have nothing to confess when it comes to Jayne Cobb.  But I… Mooney said something while I was hostage.  And it's been bothering me."
The expression on Book's face turned grave.  "If it bothers you, there is no harm in sharing."
"He mentioned my brother.  And, you know how the past can eat one alive?"
Book nodded.  "I know too well.  And I'm sure you know what I mean."
She shrugged.  "I am sorry to admit it Shepherd, but I've seen a few flashes of your past life.  No answers, probably just more questions.  But I'm not going to tell, and I won't ask or poke any more.  It's not my place."
He gave her a sign of gratitude.
"What I really need to confess, is about my brother.  And the night he died."
"Liz!" Jayne called from the crowd.
She sighed.  "May we talk about this again, Shepherd?"
"Of course, Lizane."
The young woman disappeared into the crowd to find her lover.

"Mal!" Inara gasped as he hovered over her and her dancing partner.
The man she was dancing with turned aggressively to the intruder.  "Do you mind?  I'm trying to dance with the lady here?"
"Well the dancing is over."
The man dropped his hands from her waist and lifted them into a fighting position.  "We'll just see about that."
"By the Buddha, Mal.  Does everything have to turn into a fight with you?"
"I'm not the one who raised my fists," he corrected her.
"You deliberately came out here to start a fight…"
"I came out here to dance with a friend."
The man became distracted by the fight that Mal took a cheap shot to his nose.
"There, you might want to go see if your pretty face is okay and leave the dancing to me."
"Mal…"
He took Inara's hands before she could lecture him on proper behavior.  "I don't need etiquette lessons from you.  You're the one dancing like a harlot with a complete stranger."
"I wasn't dancing like a harlot.  That's how they dance on this moon."
"I don't need you correcting everything I do or say either."  He dipped her down where his lips hovered slightly above her upper chest.  "And I don't need you threatening to leave all the time."  He brought her back up to a standing position with a jerk.  "Dong ma?"
"Why don't you want me to leave Mal?  And don't say it's because of some crew thing, or loyalty, or another stupid reason."
"I won't tell you, until you tell me why you are so upset about me and Nandi."  Another dip where they remained perfectly still, staring into each other's eyes.  "Well?"
"Why do you have to be stubborn Mal?"
He jerked her up.  "Look who's calling the kettle black.  You can't even admit that you like me…"
"Like you?  Don't insult me…"
He pressed her close to him as the song ended.  "Admit it Inara.  For a petty thief, I'm quite dashing.  And you really want me to kiss you right now."
She shoved him away.  "Don't disgust me.  You… you pig."  She hurried off into the crowd.
Mal cursed with every word he knew as he walked away to the town's saloon.

"Probably going to be doing a lot of fighting tomorrow," Jayne told Liz as he stroked her stomach in one of the saloon's bedrooms.
"I like fighting."
"It might come to the town.  Some of those idiots out there will have to pick up a gun."
"And pick up some courage.  Either need to get religion or get alcohol."
"We got a preacher-man…"
"And they've got the alcohol."  She lifted up the bottle of the wine they had been sharing.
"And I'm sure the whole crew is thankful for it."  He stole the bottle from her.  After a deep drink he grinned.  "Is this the romantic getaway you wanted?"
She closed her eyes, listening to the soft piano and accordion music from the phonograph in the room which slightly drowned out the wild tango from outside.  "It's not quite a hotel resort.  But the wine is good… the music is good… the company is excellent…"
A hard bang hit their door and they could hear the giggles of Simon and Kaylee in the hallway.  "Sorry!" Kaylee blurted out as they entered another room.
"And it's good to know that friends are having their dreams come true."
"Thank you alcohol."  He took another drink.